


My One and Only

by SarahSmith1963



Series: A Tale of Three Hearts [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Infant Death, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 09:19:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4601406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahSmith1963/pseuds/SarahSmith1963





	1. Part 1

My one and only

It was 11 weeks 5 days and 3 hours since Danny had died saving the world and protecting Clara, who was now sat in the middle of her unmade bed, tears flowing continuously and wearing a pair of pyjama shorts and one of Danny's jumpers her hair pulled up into a messy pony tail. She clutched a white stick in her hand the blue cross burned onto the back of her closed eyelids. She was pregnant with Danny Pink's baby. 

Too wrapped up in her grief she hadn't noticed the lack of periods and put the sickness down to the many meals she felt to empty to eat but here in her hand was the evidence to disprove that. This should be so different Clara should be happily waving the test in excitement at Danny before jumping into his warm arms possibly with tears of happiness and then telling the Doctor and maybe even asking him to be godfather but here she was alone crying tears of sorrow. How could she raise a baby without Danny? 

Clara sat like that for the best part of an hour before growing exhausted and laying back on the bed not even bothering to pull the covers around her just sinking further into Danny's jumper before falling into another empty nights sleep that she would waken from early in the morning feeling just as exhausted as she feel asleep. The feeling of emptiness and hopelessness still raging within her. 

The next morning when Clara did waken the first thing she saw was the pregnancy test reminding her of the small person nested in her womb, her hands instinctively flew to her stomach which she was sure held a daughter and rubbed gently. She had someone who needed her now, who needed her to be OK. Clara knew she would never forget Danny and would make sure her baby heard all about their heroic father who dug 23 wells while in the army before changing to a school teacher where he helped students reach their full potential, he never wrote any of them off as a lost cuse even when so many already had. The man who became their mummy's rock keeping her grounded and loved before becoming the hero who loved mummy so much he was able to fight off Missy's conversion and saved the whole of humanity by sacrificing himself and sacrificed himself again so he could reunite a boy with his family. Danny deserved so much more than he got and now he would never know he had a child but the child would know Danny Pink. 

Dragging herself out of bed Clara decided she needed to sort herself out, she needed to be brave and deserving of Danny Pink's child so she quickly showered and dressed properly, she had been living in jogging bottoms and Danny's old t-shirts and jumpers for the past 3 months, walking past the full length mirror naked after her shower Clara noticed how much weight she had lost she could see everyone of her ribs but poking out slightly below her ribs was a small bump. a sign of her precious cargo. She dressed simply in leggings and a flowery dress, even with the small bump they both seemed to hang off her. 

Next was breakfast, Clara couldn't even remember the last time she ate breakfast. She ate very little but it was a start. looking around Clara noticed how much of a mess her flat had gotten into, she hadn't bothered to tidy up properly in weeks and shoes books papers and other random objects where scattered through out her flat. Danny's baby deserved a much nicer place to live than this so she set about tidying everything up, Talking to her small bump about Danny and even about the adventures she had with the Doctor as she worked for the rest of the day.

That night she lay in her freshly laundered bed one hand stroking her small bump lovingly the other flicking through pictures on her phone of her and Danny.

"You are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, everything's going to be alright" Clara whispered to her bump "I put my future in you" 

That night Clara drifted off too sleep feeling peaceful thinking of a baby half asleep with tiny little feet laying beside her so she could keep her baby safe. She dreamt of a happy little girl with tanned skin curly dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes all smiles and dimples as she ran through a field giggling as she was chased by Danny who would scoop her up in his arms and swing her round earning high pitched giggles from the little girl as Clara rested against a tree watching them play.

The morning after Clara woke feeling refreshed for the first time in months. She had a slight cramping pain in her stomach not painful but enough for her to know it was there. Stretching pains Clara told herself giving it no more thought as she showered and dressed again before heading to the kitchen for breakfast. Clara was just pouring the milk into her tea when a sharp pain tore through her stomach making her bend over in two and tears spring to her eyes, as she struggled to breathe through the pain. She felt something warm and wet trickle down her legs, her hand came away red and sticky after touching it.

"No no no please no" Clara cried. 

Clara's front door opened and her Dad and Gran came into the flat using the key Dave had made himself after Danny died so he could check on his daughter. 

"Clara you awake dear?" Clara's Gran called through the apartment 

"Gran! in here please help" Clara called out desperately as another pain shot through her. 

Dave and Gran burst into the kitchen hearing Clara's distress and raced over to her supporting her between them, Dave taking most of her weight.

"What is it dear?" Her Gran asked stroking her hair 

"I'm Pregnant but it hurts, it hurts so much and there's blood" Clara cried tears running down her face

"Hospital now" Dave shouted picking Clara up and cradling her like he just to do when she was a baby running out towards the car, Gran following close behind.

The next few hours were a complete blur for Clara, she begged and pleaded for the pain and bleeding to stop that her small bump would be OK. She cried for Danny she wanted him here with her now more than ever. She had faced Dalek's Cybermen Ice Warriors even a zombie version of herself but nothing, nothing at all compared to how scared she was right now. She needed a Doctor, she needed HER Doctor.  
Just as the thought left her mind about needing the Doctor he appeared round the corridor all grey hair and eyebrows wearing a long white coat and a hospital badge.

"Doctor!!" Clara shouted desperately. 

Hearing the voice the Doctor stopped dead and turned slowly not daring to believe his ears but then he spotted her laying on a hospital bed face tear streaked hair a tangled mess, her Gran and Dad by her side trying to console her. He raced towards her pulling her into a hug as soon as he reached her. 

"Clara my Clara" He whispered into her hair both his hearts felt like they were going to explode with happiness and then his brain caught up with everything. "Clara what's wrong?" he asked frantically pulling away and reaching for her notes at the end of the bed eyes scanning them quickly

"I'm Pregnant but bleeding alot" Clara answered trying to force down the lump in her throat. 

"Clara who is this man?" Dave asked while Gran asked "Is he the Doctor you told me about dear?" at the same time as Dave.

"Yes Gran he is. He's an old friend dad. why don't you and Gran go get a cup of tea I'll be OK I promise" Clara said with a small smile.

"Where's Danny then?" The Doctor asked once Dave and Clara's Gran had left 

"I lied. He never came back" Clara answered fresh tears falling. The Doctor didn't know what to say to that so he said nothing about it.

"You haven't been scanned yet. I'll go get a scanner" The Doctor muttered putting his hands in his pockets uncomfortably before leaving her bed, he didn't know what to say to Clara to make her feel better.

Clara rested a hand on top of her small bump, feeling slightly calmer now that her Doctor was here. She started talking to her small bump again. 

"Small bump unborn but in a few months I'll hold you in my hands be as gentle as I can, I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth. If your not inside me I'll put my future in you, all my unmade plans because you are my one and only. You'll have your fathers hair A dimple beneath your chin. Your eyelids are closed but soon to open wide chocolate brown like your mummy's. I'll keep you safe right in front of me because you are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight and you'll be alright" Clara spoke softly stoking her small bump with your thumb "You have to be" She whispered barely audible to herself a single tear running down her cheek.

The Doctor came back round to her bed having heard every word she had said, his own eyes glistening with tears at his past companions pain. Knowing he wasn't supposed to hear what Clara had said he didn't mention it and tried to hide his face fiddling with the ultrasound machine.

"This will be cold" He whispered putting some gel on her stomach. If it was cold she never said anything her eyes transfixed on the screen on the monitor even tho there was nothing there yet. The Doctor moved the probe over Clara's stomach and an image of a small baby appeared on the screen with a head two arms two legs and you could even make out tiny fingers. Clara smiled lovingly at her baby, her small bump, hope building within her. There was her perfect little baby on the screen nothing could be wrong everything was going to be OK after all she just knew it.

"I'm sorry Clara but there's no heartbeat" 

 

 

a/n in memory of my small bump Nemo Jones who grew her wings on 22nd september 2012 at 10 weeks ~ Always missed and forever loved

I used alot of lyrics of Ed Sherins song "small bump" which is the song i listen too to remember my beautiful Angel

sorry its not whouffaladi. 

as usual let me know what you think :-) xxx


	2. Part 2

My one and only part 2

Clara opened her eyes and looked all around her, the sky above her was the most beautiful blue she had ever seen there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun warmed her bare arms perfectly, the long green grass tickled against her legs and the white sundress she had on swayed slightly in the breeze. She was sure she had been wearing her leather Jacket a minute ago. Everything looked perfect and not quite real but she felt too peaceful to question it. 

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy" A small dark skinned little girl squealed happily as she ran through the grass towards Clara her curly dark hair bouncing against her shoulders as she ran and her white sundress identical to Clara's danced around her as her knees lifted higher and higher to ran faster. 

The Little girl ran up to Clara and wrapped her arms around her middle as tightly as she could burying her face in Clara's stomach. 

"You came!" she laughed excitedly 

"Where am I?" Clara asked confused by what was going on, last she remembered was facing a bunch of Cybermen with the Doctor. 

"Heaven silly" The little girl laughed taking Clara's hand in hers and walking through the meadow 

"Heaven?" Clara asked looking at the little girls hands in hers, she seemed familial and Clara instantly felt attached to this little girl

"It's me mummy your small bump" The little girl smiled looking up at Clara "Everyone one else calls me Oswin, just like you mummy" She proudly announced 

"Your my small bump" Clara whispered with a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes, she knew she was telling the truth, Oswin looked just like Clara. 

"I'm sorry I had to leave you mummy, I'm sorry I made you cry" Oswin said in a small voice looking down at her feet

"Never be sorry for leaving me Oswin, I'd do it again and again just to have had those precious two days with you" Clara reassured Oswin getting down onto her knees in front of her little girl so she could look into her eyes both Clara's hands resting on Oswin's shoulders 

"I love you mamma" Oswin said hugging Clara tightly 

"I love you too Sweet girl" Clara whispered into Oswin's hair as a tear rolled down her face 

"You were right mummy, I do like Daddy hes nice he reads me stories and sings me songs and tells me all about you just like you told me about him when I was with you" Oswin said pulling away from the hug 

"He's here?" Clara asked looking around for Danny.

"Not yet he said this was time for you and me" Oswin shook her head making her hair dance around her face.

"Typical Danny, putting everyone else before himself" Clara smiled sadly. 

"Will you tell me a story about your adventures with the Doctor Mummy" Oswin asked. Clara leaned up against a tree that hadn't been there before but she didn't notice and pulled Oswin onto her knee cuddling her in close. Clara told her the story of how her echo Oswin met the Doctor, she remembered most of the details from being in his time stream and those that she didn't remember the Doctor had filled in for her. They had been sat under the tree for hours Clara telling Oswin stories from her adventures before they knew it the sun had set and the stars had come out. 

"It's time for you to go now Mummy" Oswin said sitting up on Clara's knee 

"What do you mean sweet girl?" Clara asked tucking a piece of Oswin's hair behind her ear. 

"It's not your time to be here yet but don't worry I'll see you again soon" Oswin smiled 

"If I go back you won't be there" Clara explained sadly unwilling to leave her daughter.

"Silly Mummy, I'm always there you just can't see me that's all but I'm always watching you and waiting for you to come back to play with me mummy" Oswin laughed 

"She's right Clara we are both always there for you" Came Danny's voice from behind Clara. 

Clara stood up and ran to Danny throwing her arms around him and kissing him on the lips bursting into tears instantly. she pulled away from Danny and put her hand to her mouth in sorrow and disbelieve. 

"Danny" was all she could say 

"Hello Clara" Danny smiled 

"I miss you Danny and Oswin so much it hurts, I don't want to go back without you both" Clara cried burying her head into Danny's shoulder hugging him tightly again

"You have to Clara it's not your time, not yet and besides the Doctor needs you" Danny explained softly rubbing Clara's back as she cried

"Yea he does" Clara whispered 

"It's OK Clara I know and I'm OK with it you need someone and he loves you as much as I do and that's all I've ever wanted" Danny reassured Clara. 

"I love you Danny" Clara whispered against his chest tears still rolling down her cheeks 

"I know you do Clara and I will always love you but I'm the past, he's your future" Danny insisted. 

"It's time to go Mummy" Oswin said coming over and holding Clara's hand 

"I don't want to leave you" Clara said through sobs bending down to Oswin's level 

"Please don't cry Mummy" Oswin spoke softly putting a hand to Clara's cheek to wipe away the tears that had fallen. Clara frowned trying to hold back another wave of sobs that had threatened to over take her at Oswin's request.

"Clara! Clara" The Doctor's panicked and disembodied voice echo's around the meadow 

"It's time momma" Oswin reassured Clara. 

Clara stood up and faced Danny. "Thank you Danny, I will always love you" Clara aid a lump raising in her throat making it difficult to talk. 

"I love you too Clara" Danny said cupping her face in his hand and pressing one last lingering kiss to soft lips.

"Clara! Clara" The Doctor's voice shouted again about sounding desperate 

Clara bend down to Oswin one last time and pulled her into a tight hug burying her face in her soft hair memorising the feel of her and her smell, like candy floss and vanilla ice cream. Trying to stop the sadness and grief overwhelm her Clara spoke " I love you my small bump forever and always, until the end of time" A few tears falling from her eyes damping her daughters hair. 

"I love you too Momma" Oswin smiled enjoying one last hug from her mummy "I have to go now Mummy there's so much to do here, you'll love it" 

"Be good for your Daddy OK?" Clara asked with a watery smile as she pulled away from the hug taking both of Oswin's hands in hers and placing a kiss on each one

"I will Mummy" Oswin smiled 

"And don't ever leave my side" Clara frowned squeezing Oswin's hands slightly

"Never" Oswin answered instantly. 

The Doctor's voice became louder and louder his cries becoming more desperate, his voice breaking as he cried for Clara to wake up and come back to him. Oswin skipped over to Danny and took his hand in hers, looking up at him with a huge smile. Clara's heart broke all over again knowing she'd have to leave her little girl but at lest now she knew she was safe and well with Danny. 

"Bye Danny" 

"Bye Clara" He answered echoing the conversation they had in the graveyard so long ago.

"You'll love it here Mummy, the view is so pretty" Oswin smiled as both Oswin and Danny rose up into the air and flew away, Clara closed her eyes as more tears escaped from them.

The Doctor's voice got louder and suddenly she could feel herself in his arms being rocked back and forth as he cried into her shoulder, They were sat on a wet London Street. Clara's tights and skirt were getting wet but she wasn't fully aware of it at the moment, all that matter to her was that her Doctor was crying and she needed to help him. 

"Clara, my Clara, Please do the impossible one more time and come back to me" The Doctor cried not realising Clara had started breathing again. 

Shakily Clara lifted her hand up to touch the side of the Doctor's face. "Clara!" He gasped in shock and relief staring down at her face, her eyes full of tears, skin a bit pale but she was alive against all the odds she was alive!!! 

"Doctor, I have to tell you, I love you so so much. I didn't want to admit it before because of Danny but I do Doctor I really do love you" Clara cried wiping the tears that had fallen down the Doctor's face away 

"My Clara you've no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that!" The Doctor laughed before pressing his lips to Clara's.


End file.
